As aging begins, so do wrinkles and early nights, yet it also brings wisdom & clarity. I think one of the biggest life lessons that I have learned to date is the lesson of getting rid of anything that doesn’t make me feel good. Now ladies, I don’t mean every time your partner makes you feel anything but happy to ship them off to Timbuktu. I mean any relationships in your life that consistently have the same ingredients for disaster and you continuously keep them in your life for… loyalty, social purposes, or convenience??? Does any of this sound familiar?

We all have relationships in our lives that have ups & downs and that is life. We have arguments with these people and apologize and forgive. Hopefully we learn from these mistakes and try our best not to repeat it. We keep these people in our lives.

A guilty pleasure of mine to watch is the Housewives saga on Bravo. As I am getting older, some of these fights are getting old and tiring to even watch, but maybe if someone watched my life they would feel the same way. I am currently watching Beverly Hills and New York and they both have the same trend. Some of the friendships are at high levels of conflict because two adults cannot be accountable for their actions in the situation. The same fight will arise throughout the entire season, and I thought to myself what for? It’s hard to look within sometimes and say I’m wrong. To see that your actions or words have caused harm to a situation and you can’t accept that you aren’t perfect and make mistakes. As I’ve had disagreements, confrontation, and sometimes resolutions with people- the bottom line is that people want to be heard and validated, normally with an apology. But very seldom do I see people take accountability.

As I commute to work my mind normally wanders to things going on in my life. I just realized there are three consistent relationship stressors that come up on a weekly basis. Three different relationships that tend to be the forefront of worry. Now, how do I resolve this? Are these relationships worth repair? Do I think it’s possible to mend the holes in the relationship? Not only do I have to be open to take fault but the other person would be. Sometimes in life, you learn to accept people for who they are and what they are capable of giving. Maybe conversations with these people would help and alleviate the strain, or it would cause us to go our separate ways. That is an individual journey that only I can figure out. I do know that I keep these people at bay and try to have limited contact with them. Most interactions with them make me leave feeling yucky inside.

Negative relationships like this can cause high stress in your life. I have learned to weed out the toxicity and put boundaries on relationships to alleviate pressure in my life. As we progress to different stages in life we evolve time and time again. Sometimes with this change, we see people differently from how we saw them before. Maybe we were more naive and didn’t realize the manipulation, or couldn’t fathom cutting out family who are toxic, or ignoring a friendship that constantly depletes but you want to continue the friendship even though it’s not healthy.

Life is short and I don’t put myself in situations with people who have or will cause me any turmoil. I will no longer sacrifice my mental health to play nice or take the high road around anyone for anyone. These are my boundaries in life.

At some point you will need to sit down and reflect about keeping someone in your life. It’s an individual journey that can’t be decided by outside influences. But for every action is a reaction from someone in your life, so be prepared to be content with your decision and be true to you.

As Lauren Conrad once said, “All there is left to do is to forgive & forget. I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you.”

🖤A